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Jan. 5th, 2008 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mickyfinn(you can read the preamble, or skip to the bottom for the question)
So, anyways, I've been all brooding of late. Too much free time or something.
Like I'm guessing a lot of people do, one of my major themes of brooding is dumb shit I've done. bad decisions that I've made. And theres a lot of "well that was really stupid _but_" type statements in there. Things I'd do exactly the same, cause it was a dumb decision that I like some of the good results of too much to throw away the baby with the bathwater, even mentally, by wishing I'd never done it. I met one of my best friends while I was doing a course that I never should have signed up to (first year out of high school, I should have been working. hard. getting a little bank, getting a license, and getting eligible for the govt to actually provide some income support when I started study. scrabbling for money at uni is a shitty shitty way to spend a few years.
And some of them are dumb decisions that I'd like to have done differently, but even a Myself From The Future type message wouldn't have changed what I decided to do. cause there are some decisions that you just have to make when you're young and stupid. Religion. I should have abandoned my faith way before I actually did.
But thinking of what I'd change, time machine permitting, in my own life, is not nearly as useful as thinking what sort of advice and guidance I'd give to other people in my position. Ya'know, just in case I get round to having some, or get allowed to advise my potential nieces and nephews, or godchildren or whatever.
Unfortunately, most of my advice is only suited for kids who are like I was. and I'm pretty rare. (bright, physically not particularly ept, not particularly socially ept, motivation problems around schoolwork, INTP personality type, male)
stuff like
"If its genre fiction (or TV or whatever) that reads like wish fulfillment, it is. And wish fulfillment fiction is a shitty guide to how to live. This applies especially to anything that leads you to believe everything would be perfect if you were In college/japanese/found that perfect outfit."
"never go to a single sex school"
"find a sport you love and do it" (actually, that ones a good piece of advice. in the case of someone with my limited physical talents, add "make sure its not one of the most popular local sports" niche sports, solo sports, that sort of thing is great for someone with minimal talent. I highly recommend ice hockey to australians. its marginal, the basic skills are a great experience on their own (Ice skating on an almost empty rink is good for the soul), and you get to use a regulated level of violence).
"university is great, but start with a really general degree, and kick arse at it first."
"take 1 subject more than your required load, and drop one by this HECS census date" (if you're really kicking arse, hang onto them all)
"learn to drive. sometimes its just essential"
"learn to ride a motorbike. not at all essential, but so much fun"
"in everything you do, in organized education there will be some crap. and there will be some things that seem like crap but are essential. get the best advice possible on sorting out the difference, and do whatever you have to to get past the crap (I draw the line a little north of blackmail) and kick arse at the rest."
"get a job. early. bias towards jobs in the same place as a group of other spotty teens. Don't let this stop you trying to wrangle money out of the parentals"
"never do a subject just because its easy."
"avoid subjects that mark on groupwork. its just as bad for you to be carried as it is to carry the group"
"do subjects which need small group interaction. preferably with a female bias to the gender balance. make friends."
"most people are shit. suck it up, princess. be friendly to everyone who aint insufferable, but only make time for the best of them"
"Minimize single sex hobbies. defacto or dejure"
"try and find a hobby that lets you blow shit up from time to time. legally"
So, Question time. Advice you'd give to a young person. (anything up to and including university student). Advice based on things you wish you'd done differently. If it only applies to a small group of personality types, make a note.
So, anyways, I've been all brooding of late. Too much free time or something.
Like I'm guessing a lot of people do, one of my major themes of brooding is dumb shit I've done. bad decisions that I've made. And theres a lot of "well that was really stupid _but_" type statements in there. Things I'd do exactly the same, cause it was a dumb decision that I like some of the good results of too much to throw away the baby with the bathwater, even mentally, by wishing I'd never done it. I met one of my best friends while I was doing a course that I never should have signed up to (first year out of high school, I should have been working. hard. getting a little bank, getting a license, and getting eligible for the govt to actually provide some income support when I started study. scrabbling for money at uni is a shitty shitty way to spend a few years.
And some of them are dumb decisions that I'd like to have done differently, but even a Myself From The Future type message wouldn't have changed what I decided to do. cause there are some decisions that you just have to make when you're young and stupid. Religion. I should have abandoned my faith way before I actually did.
But thinking of what I'd change, time machine permitting, in my own life, is not nearly as useful as thinking what sort of advice and guidance I'd give to other people in my position. Ya'know, just in case I get round to having some, or get allowed to advise my potential nieces and nephews, or godchildren or whatever.
Unfortunately, most of my advice is only suited for kids who are like I was. and I'm pretty rare. (bright, physically not particularly ept, not particularly socially ept, motivation problems around schoolwork, INTP personality type, male)
stuff like
"If its genre fiction (or TV or whatever) that reads like wish fulfillment, it is. And wish fulfillment fiction is a shitty guide to how to live. This applies especially to anything that leads you to believe everything would be perfect if you were In college/japanese/found that perfect outfit."
"never go to a single sex school"
"find a sport you love and do it" (actually, that ones a good piece of advice. in the case of someone with my limited physical talents, add "make sure its not one of the most popular local sports" niche sports, solo sports, that sort of thing is great for someone with minimal talent. I highly recommend ice hockey to australians. its marginal, the basic skills are a great experience on their own (Ice skating on an almost empty rink is good for the soul), and you get to use a regulated level of violence).
"university is great, but start with a really general degree, and kick arse at it first."
"take 1 subject more than your required load, and drop one by this HECS census date" (if you're really kicking arse, hang onto them all)
"learn to drive. sometimes its just essential"
"learn to ride a motorbike. not at all essential, but so much fun"
"in everything you do, in organized education there will be some crap. and there will be some things that seem like crap but are essential. get the best advice possible on sorting out the difference, and do whatever you have to to get past the crap (I draw the line a little north of blackmail) and kick arse at the rest."
"get a job. early. bias towards jobs in the same place as a group of other spotty teens. Don't let this stop you trying to wrangle money out of the parentals"
"never do a subject just because its easy."
"avoid subjects that mark on groupwork. its just as bad for you to be carried as it is to carry the group"
"do subjects which need small group interaction. preferably with a female bias to the gender balance. make friends."
"most people are shit. suck it up, princess. be friendly to everyone who aint insufferable, but only make time for the best of them"
"Minimize single sex hobbies. defacto or dejure"
"try and find a hobby that lets you blow shit up from time to time. legally"
So, Question time. Advice you'd give to a young person. (anything up to and including university student). Advice based on things you wish you'd done differently. If it only applies to a small group of personality types, make a note.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 02:14 am (UTC)Be kind to other people, and do what you can to help them. But never put them before yourself, because they will not do the same when the situations are reversed.
Sometimes, it is ok to punch people in the face. Violence is not a virtue, but the occasional person really needs to learn a life lesson, and someone should show them how their actions affect others.
Life's far too short to waste time with 'just being comfortable'. Every day you don't do something new, is a wasted day. Experience new things, people and places. Take risks, and enjoy learning from failing, when you do.
Talk less, and listen more. Really listen to what people around you are saying. If nothing else, it'll work as great blackmail material. Don't speak every thought that comes into your head. Distil the shit, and only speak what is truly important. Your opinion will always be given a higher weighting.
And lastly, but most importantly, fuck anything that moves. Life's far too short to turn down sex. However, only do this when you are single. It's never ok to cheat. It doesn't matter if they're taken, because they're the ones fuckign their lives up. This doesn't apply to women who are dating mates or relatives. When you're bored, married to a woman who hasn't been interested in having sex with you for 10 years, at least you'll have some pleasant memories to jerk off to.